PARKS AND RECREATION

Lindsey Steenkemp checked out the best family theme parks In Florida.


If there’s any country that embodies the concept of a world in one place it’s the United States of America. From snowcapped mountain peaks to arid deserts, from voodoo rituals to military might, from concrete jungles throbbing with artistic endeavour and urban decay to island paradises that are more laid-back than a broken pool-recliner, it’s a big, beautiful place. America even has conflicting rap styles depending on which coastline waves happen to break near your backyard, such is the breadth and scope of the nation.

And inside that configuration of diverse states sits Florida. The Sunshine State is not just a giant retirement village or a metropolis of Latin-American rhythm, the central city of Orlando is the indisputable world capital of family entertainment. Theme parks and adventure entertainment locations are the lifeblood of the place. It’s not just the Disney-fication of Florida that brings millions of people there every year, it’s the wide array of competitor attractions and landmark all-American experiences configured inside one geographical hub that make it so popular. You visit Orlando for a fortnight and you’ve got a lifetime of funfilled family-friendly memories to take home.

I spent seven days among the finest assortment of themed attractions on the planet. Turns out that I would have needed a couple more weeks to do it full justice. But my miscalculation is your good luck as I crammed a whole bunch of brilliant experiences into a single short trip which I’ve called Parks and Recreation. For this review, I’m covering the two heavyweight contenders for the family entertainment crown.

First port of call is Disney. The thing about Orlando’s Disney parks is that they are the biggest most elaborate versions of the brand anywhere. Not only are they the flagship iterations of the Disney parks, but they are all in the same geographic space. There’s Disney World, Epcot, Disney’s Animal Kingdom and Disney’s Hollywood Studios all adjacent to one another. The system is set up to make your visit seamless.

Magic Kingdom Park Walt Disney World Orlando is the behemoth version of the world’s most famous theme park. Whether you’re a child or a child at heart, it’s almost impossible not to be enchanted by a place that takes you away from the grit of everyday life into a realm of unadulterated escapism. In an ideal scenario, Disney World alone requires a full three days or more to fully explore.

Six themed lands offer varied experiences for all age groups, incorporating gentle rides of wonder and adventure to more action-packed thrills. Starting from Main Street USA and traversing either by foot or elevated Monorail, you progress through Frontier Land, Adventure Land, Fantasy Land and Tomorrow Land in a 40-atttraction odyssey unparalleled on this planet. Add in your favourite Disney movie characters performing daily in a massive, majestic parade and you have a formula that’s hard to rival.

Or is it?

Epcot (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) is a magnificent configuration of forward thinking and vivid imagination. First engineered in the eighties, the attention to detail in the conceptual rides like Space World is breath-taking. The World Showcase (essentially a global village) was a personal highlight as I sampled evening aperitifs in China, took a main course in Italy and topped things off with dessert in Norway. The commitment to authenticity is wonderous. Completing any night is a stupendous fireworks display; 15 minutes of the most magnificent pyrotechnics on the planet, while in the near distance you witness the same scale of show taking place at Disney World simultaneously. Disney spends USD50,000 per park every night on its firework displays and it’s worth every penny.

A universal truth is that there will always be a challenger to any throne. Where Disney was once the undisputed King of the Theme Park Jungle, an heir apparent has been thumping its chest for the past decade. Universal, who own three major parks in Orlando – Universal Studios Florida, Universal’s Islands of Adventure, and Universal’s Volcano Bay water theme park – are smashing down the doors to the throne room. The very best of these parks is Universal Islands of Adventure, a destination that matches Disney World in its ambition and scale of excitement. Two separate islands are home to some incredible experiences. I spent a day in their domain and quite frankly it was nowhere near enough time. I recommend dedicating at least one full day to each of the different territories.

Whereas Disney uses an extensive canon of classic original movie content to create their rides and attractions, Universal has leveraged their library of modern movie properties to generate pulling power. Not least of these is the Harry Potter phenomenon. The boys from Universal have built an entire to-scale replica of Hogsmeade, replete with working shops and taverns, magical rides and a fully-functional Hogwarts Express train. I can vouch for the deliciousness of the Butter Beer (nonalcoholic) and the magical grandeur of Hogwarts Castle, home to some scarier rides and attractions that transport you into a world off credible effects and incredible wizardry. It’s like Disney on steroids.

The Skull Island, Reign of Kong dark ride with its animatronic beasts was another that impressed me as did the Jurassic Park water ride. My personal favourite however was the surreal Dr Zeus Landing, a world unto itself filled with vivid colour, distorted designs and gentle kids’ rides to rival anything Disney has to offer. For adrenalin ride junkies (of which I am not one), Marvel Superhero Island is an unmissable feature. The Island is laid out like a graphic novel brought to life, where comic-book characters roam the streets. A couple of my mates took on The Incredible Hulk Coaster, a convoluted green monolith that dominates the park skyline and delivers a ride as aggressive as Bruce Banner on a really bad day. They assured me that its 67mph maximum velocity and zero-gravity loop was as white-knuckle inducing as it sounded. I’ll take their word for it.

Before embarking on a trip to Orlando I recommend a planning session of military precision. There are a few key points to keep in mind. Firstly, you can’t see everything in one visit so plan your choices and stick to the agenda. Secondly, prepare yourself for the size of the parks – there will be huge amounts of walking. Thirdly, take a break day mid-visit. You’ll need it. And, last but not least, book a hotel in a central location where bus rides to the main parks are part of the package deal.

My park recommendations for a visit relate to your personal demographics. For families with young kids and tweens, the Disney Parks are no-brainers. I would add Legoland to the itinerary, if time permits. For those with teens and young adults in tow, Universal Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios offer the perfect mix of childlike magic, amazing live shows and adrenalised mayhem. If you’re single and adventurous, Kennedy Space Centre is an unmissable and truly indelible experience that you can humblebrag about for years to come.

The ideal family vacation destination is both tiring and fantastic. With that in mind, I suggest overloading your senses in Orlando.✤